Im really sad today. I had the most am azing conversation with a man last night. I can't explain it it was just amazing. Yes I did meet hom online. I'm a big and men like us they are just hard to find. It was great till I talked to him on the phone. He sounded like a teenager. He could hardly speak english, and he had an african accent. I was so disapointed, cause he's a scammer and he thinks i'm dumb enough to believe that he's a man who was raised in America and he's in England right now taking care of his dad. What a lier...
I'm so sad, mostly because i was taught to always blame myself when things happen to me, when i get hurt. as im writing this i find that the real hurt comes because of someone else.
someone who i love more then anything someone who when im with i feel like im not good enough someone who has a list of things he wants me to change before he marries me even though he has asked me begged me.
I said no because as much as i was taught that this is what love looks like this isnt love. not the love i have come to learn about not the love that healthy accepting people have for eachother. and my heart feels like its broke and he calls and checks up on me and makes sure im ok and theres still a list and the latest thing he added was that i walk with a cane. and this isnt love and im trying to get that through my head i wish i could get it through to my heart
is he a good man yes he's somebody even if its only in his own mind he talks a good game but hes always alone he tallllllllks about the people he knows and the friends he has but i never see them he just keeps on talking and talking and talking and thats not love and i wish someone would explain it to my heart its not love pam he wants you for what you can do for him not for who you are and thats not love and i thought that if i meet someone else it would help but it has made it worse because all the men i have meet are scammers they are not real and they only want what they can get as well so what do i have to do whats it going to take do i have to stop looking ive been waiting for 52 years and im still alone my family i have to stay away from for my own safety ahd i am back to the question Where is Pam have you seen her? does anyone know where she belongs? does anyone want her? does anyone . IS THERE ANYONE THERE?????
I'm so sad, mostly because i was taught to always blame myself when things happen to me, when i get hurt. as im writing this i find that the real hurt comes because of someone else.
someone who i love more then anything someone who when im with i feel like im not good enough someone who has a list of things he wants me to change before he marries me even though he has asked me begged me.
I said no because as much as i was taught that this is what love looks like this isnt love. not the love i have come to learn about not the love that healthy accepting people have for eachother. and my heart feels like its broke and he calls and checks up on me and makes sure im ok and theres still a list and the latest thing he added was that i walk with a cane. and this isnt love and im trying to get that through my head i wish i could get it through to my heart
is he a good man yes he's somebody even if its only in his own mind he talks a good game but hes always alone he tallllllllks about the people he knows and the friends he has but i never see them he just keeps on talking and talking and talking and thats not love and i wish someone would explain it to my heart its not love pam he wants you for what you can do for him not for who you are and thats not love and i thought that if i meet someone else it would help but it has made it worse because all the men i have meet are scammers they are not real and they only want what they can get as well so what do i have to do whats it going to take do i have to stop looking ive been waiting for 52 years and im still alone my family i have to stay away from for my own safety ahd i am back to the question Where is Pam have you seen her? does anyone know where she belongs? does anyone want her? does anyone . IS THERE ANYONE THERE?????
